Some years ago now, inspired by a marathon of "Murder, She Wrote" myself and my good friend Colin Butcher decided to form our own detective agency, called Baker and Butcher, or as Colin would incorrectly have you believe "Butcher and Baker". As luck would have it (for us, not for the people involved) an armed robbery occurred at a local shop just a few days later, and we decided this was a sign, the perfect opportunity to make a name for ourselves in the detective business, so we got straight on the case. The trail took us to some pretty dark places (literally, we found out that a nearby train tunnel was a hang out spot for the local ne'erdowells) and we saw some pretty crazy things, namely a swan in a lake with a squirrel on his back, this didn't have anything to do with the case, but we had to walk through the park to get to the train tunnel, it was a nice day and we stopped for ice cream, I had a standard 99 flake. We found our first big clue in that tunnel, the robber was wearing a Geoffrey Boycott mask, and we found several of these masks in the tunnel. We knew that the robber held the gun in his left hand, and that he had a thick west country accent, and after several days we came to the only available conclusion, the robber was none other than Roger Chapman, we took our case to the police and they set off to find Roger. Unfortunately, not only had Roger been on holiday in Benidorm since before the theft took place, he also lost all the fingers on his left hand in a lawn mower accident six months previous.
It proved somewhat difficult to get work as detectives for some years after that.
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